She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
