Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
