we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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