I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
