I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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