What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
