But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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