His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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