so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
