Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
