you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
