I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
