I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
