Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is the high leading the old right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
