we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
