My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
