She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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