Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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