why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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