first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
