You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
