i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
