So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
