I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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