i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
