Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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