Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
