Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
