peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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