so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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