I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
