You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
