Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
