I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
