No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
