Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
