she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's official drugs can't kill me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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