he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
