Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
