She is in my trunk
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
