Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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