think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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