weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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