found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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