Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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