i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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