Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
