the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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