Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
