party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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